Pain In The Ass

Sunday, July 17, 2005

I went to spinning this morning (I don't normally go on Sundays but since I slept through yesterday's class I had to make it up) and had an instructor who is evil. Since I rarely go on Sundays and she's been on vacation for a month, I'd never had her class. There were few intervals and no sprinting - just sliders, jumps, hovers, and isolations. Crap.

1. Sliders: First a little info - When pedaling from standing position on the bike, there are three positions: #1- upright with hands closest to you on the handle bars, #2- slightly leaning with hands spread and in the middle of the handle bars, and #3- totally leaning with hands at the furthest point on the handle bars. In position 1 and 2 your center of gravity (AKA: your arse) should be over the front of your seat; in position 3, your arse is over the back of your seat. So, for sliders you start in position #2 and then slide your hands forward and arse back so that you're in position #3. This is done repeatedly and each position is held for a certain count.
2. Jumps: From a seated position, with enough tension on the fly-wheel, you move into position #1 or position #2 (depending on the instructions), then back to seated. So, for instance, you are seated for an 8-count then you stand for an 8 count and do this several times, then you do each for 4 counts, then 2 counts until you want to die.
3. Hovers: From a seated position, lift your arse about 1-inch above the seat so that your legs get really pissed off.
4. Isolations: Done always from a standing position, you pedal and keep your upper body completely still so that your legs catch fire and blood vessels in your head start to burst. And depending on if you're in position 1, 2, or 3, you're working different parts of your legs. I'm sure this one was used in medieval times and now is classified as cruel and unusual punishment.

Now, you are probably thinking, "Why, Irysh, would you do this to yourself? It sounds awful and no fun at all! I'd rather pull my toenails out!" Oh, contraire, my friend! Despite the perceived agony, it's a DAMN good workout and, in the hour class, I burn upwards of 1,000 calories. If I were to try to burn that another way, it would take too long and be too boring. Also, it really is fun. The lights are off, the fans are on, the music is loud and you never have to worry about running into anyone (like in an aerobics class, per se). You control how fast you go, how much you work. What you put into it is truly what you get out. In fact, a friend of mine who is a runner and works out every day (sometimes twice a day on the weekends) came to the class and it beat the crap out of her. Awesome!

But back to today's class. Not all instructors are like that. Some like to do a lot of hills, some are fans of sprinting, some like to do rolling hills the entire time (riding like you're on a flat road and then increasing the tension to simulate a hill, then dropping it back down for a flat road again). Personally, I like a combination of everything. It keeps my body guessing and my heart pumping (not to mention I'm completely drenched when I'm done). It's one of the best cardio workouts there is and is also quite effective for toning muscle.

Anyway, like the saying goes: Pain is just weakness leaving the body.